Friday, August 26, 2011

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

I treated my personal care assistant and myself to this movie. As much as I am a big pacifist in life I have a weakness for action, shoot-'em-up , Hollywood style mega movies. It's my dirty little secret. We saw the 3-D version because otherwise what's the point of going to the big theater?

I forked over the rather ridiculous ticket price of $8.75 each and we went in. The first thing I noticed was that Sam Witwicky's (played by Shia LaBeouf) taste in women had gone down considerably. No longer was he attached to the irrepressible, and actually interesting, Mikaela Banes (played by Megan Fox). When she had ditched him, apparently Sam had decided that independent women just weren't his thing, because the next girl he dated, Carly Spencer (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), reminded me more of Malibu Barbie than Lois Lane.

I know the story is fictional, but I ask you, how is that whiny, superficial woman ever going to be the permanent love interest of someone who periodically gets called to go save the world with his robot friends?

The first time he did, she nearly had a heart attack. Boy, did she ever throw a tantrum! She even took back the bunny she'd won for Sam. Sorry, girl, but your man isn't going to be home for dinner every night. He's too busy saving the world. Suck it up and deal!

While we're still on thesubject of Carly, am I the only person who finds it disturbing that Sam's new love interest looks a lot like the Desepticon who impersonated a cute girl in order to get Sam to reveal secrets. I'm sorry, but if I were a superhero the last thing I would want to do is sleep next to a woman who resembled the robot who had tried to sexually assault me!

As you can tell, I was one pissed off feminist during the movie. I realize that Michael Bay and Megan Fox might have had significant creative differences, but that doesn't excuse the replacing a strong woman with a Barbie doll. If they had to find Sam a new girlfriend couldn't she at least have been a little less codependent?

Aside from the Carly issue, this movie didn't make a lot of sense. I had trouble following the plot. Although I did enjoy the action scenes, especially the 3-D parts. But then again perhaps it's my fault for expecting good writing in action movies, which never seems to happen.

The Internet Movie Database rates the film a six. I find even that a bit high. I would go more towards 5.5. If you want plot, this is not your movie. Even with that caveat, I know I'll probably go back and see the next installment of Transformers. Once a fan, always a fan, whatever Hollywood might do to a beloved franchise!

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