Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

I treated my personal care assistant and myself to this movie. As much as I am a big pacifist in life I have a weakness for action, shoot-'em-up , Hollywood style mega movies. It's my dirty little secret. We saw the 3-D version because otherwise what's the point of going to the big theater?

I forked over the rather ridiculous ticket price of $8.75 each and we went in. The first thing I noticed was that Sam Witwicky's (played by Shia LaBeouf) taste in women had gone down considerably. No longer was he attached to the irrepressible, and actually interesting, Mikaela Banes (played by Megan Fox). When she had ditched him, apparently Sam had decided that independent women just weren't his thing, because the next girl he dated, Carly Spencer (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), reminded me more of Malibu Barbie than Lois Lane.

I know the story is fictional, but I ask you, how is that whiny, superficial woman ever going to be the permanent love interest of someone who periodically gets called to go save the world with his robot friends?

The first time he did, she nearly had a heart attack. Boy, did she ever throw a tantrum! She even took back the bunny she'd won for Sam. Sorry, girl, but your man isn't going to be home for dinner every night. He's too busy saving the world. Suck it up and deal!

While we're still on thesubject of Carly, am I the only person who finds it disturbing that Sam's new love interest looks a lot like the Desepticon who impersonated a cute girl in order to get Sam to reveal secrets. I'm sorry, but if I were a superhero the last thing I would want to do is sleep next to a woman who resembled the robot who had tried to sexually assault me!

As you can tell, I was one pissed off feminist during the movie. I realize that Michael Bay and Megan Fox might have had significant creative differences, but that doesn't excuse the replacing a strong woman with a Barbie doll. If they had to find Sam a new girlfriend couldn't she at least have been a little less codependent?

Aside from the Carly issue, this movie didn't make a lot of sense. I had trouble following the plot. Although I did enjoy the action scenes, especially the 3-D parts. But then again perhaps it's my fault for expecting good writing in action movies, which never seems to happen.

The Internet Movie Database rates the film a six. I find even that a bit high. I would go more towards 5.5. If you want plot, this is not your movie. Even with that caveat, I know I'll probably go back and see the next installment of Transformers. Once a fan, always a fan, whatever Hollywood might do to a beloved franchise!

Movie Review: Going the Distance

This the perfect date movie. It tells the story of Erin (a Stanford journalism grad student) and Garret (a frustrated record label employee). Erin is finishing her summer internship and Garrett has just gotten out of a long term relationship. They only get 6 weeks before Erin goes back to school. At first, they decide that the 6 week thing id fine, but the course of true love never did run smooth or have good timing,

So they decide to make a go of the whole long distance thing. This leads to many flights back and forth, a failed attempt at phone sex, and an "oh,my God, we're caught moment" on her sister's dinning room table.

Being in a kind of long distance relationship myself, this movie made me think of what you do and do not do for love. Even though, it made me a bit melancholy and sort of committed to dealing with my own relationship, it's a good flick. I rate an 8.5/10. Curl up with your beloved and enjoy!

Movie review: The Ten

This was a weird little movie. It was supposed to be vignettes about the ten commandments, and the stories somehow interrelate, but it's in no way funny. Prison rape, nuclear accidents, and animated lying rhinos aren't my thing, but I guess someone liked it.

The bonus features are even stupider than the movie. The only I liked was the bass player who played music throughout the commentary. I like about 5% of this movie. And I am not saying that because I'm an offended person of faith. In fact, one of the few skits I kind of liked featured a an actor playing Jesus, the actual Jesus.

I rate this movie a 1 of 10. The people who like it must think jackass is highbrow material. Do not rent!