On January 1st, 2010 I sent out on a quest to read 100 books in the year. On December 29, 2010 I finished. I didn’t think it would take me that long. For awhile I was reading two or three books a week, especially since I don’t have cable anymore due a dispute with my cable company. In order to keep myself entertained and writing regularly, because I simply cannot write in silence, I switched to audio books.
The final book I read was called California Demon: Confession of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom. I’m not usually into chick lit, as a person, but something about Kate O’Conner and her average everyday stay at home mom life appealed to me because she seemed so normal. But of course, being a demon hunter is not a normal occupation. Being a retired demon hunter with more secrets than I have socks is even more abnormal.
In this book I learned a few things:
1. Not all chick lit is stupid. Some of it is actually pretty entertaining.
2. You can make a lot of money writing it.
3. At least it’s better than romance novels where people are having sex with people they have only known for three pages.
With this in mind, I would like to introduce you to Kate Allie, she’s the fourteen year old. Timmy, the two year old. And Stuart, the husband an inspiring politician. None of the other three people have any idea about Kate’s past. The work she did with her now deceased husband Eric and how many times she saved the world.
I’m all for honesty in a marriage, but if I was in Kate’s situation I would be tempted to follow her same path. The thing that annoyed me the most about this book, which I didn’t realize until I started reading it, was that it was second in a series a books. This always irritates me. I feel like every other reader knows something I don’t know. But the free online audio book library that my home library belongs to didn’t have the first one. I had to order it. To Julie Kenner’s credit, her series is very accessible to jump into midstream, even though I still don’t prefer it.
I would say that if you are looking for an easy read, that’s fun and funny and relatable, this series is worth checking out. Although I recommend you start with Demons Are Forever, the first book in the series, which I am reading now. I’d give this book an 8 out of 10.
Showing posts with label adult fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adult fiction. Show all posts
Friday, December 31, 2010
Book Review: Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop (Book 87 of 100)
fter Mr.monk gets fired from his consulting job due to captain Stottlemeyer's embarrassment and budget cuts he goes to work for inner tech a consulting firm funded by an ex police officer. Mr.Monk is so overwhelmed with work he solves 200 murders in two days but cant help the captain when he is accused of murder. Poor Randy has to arrest him which I gather must be hard to do to your idol. But in the end everything turns out all right. However I won't tell you how because you should read the book.
Every time I read Le Goldberg books i am amazed that someone can write that well,spends all his time writing for tv,if i were him I would be plotting the great American novel. The man has enough talent to create it, his only problem is that TV pays more.
I rate this book a 8 1/2 out of 10. It doesn't follow the TV series exactly but you can get a good idea of what goes on.The thing I liked best is that the books are always written from Natelie's perspective, it gives people good insight in to what the life a personal care assistant ( which is what she is) goes through. I shudder to think to what any of my assistants would say if they wrote a book about me.
So whether or not you are a monk tv fan you should read this book, it is funny and will keep you guessing. I hadnt figured out the mystery until the end of the book myself.
Every time I read Le Goldberg books i am amazed that someone can write that well,spends all his time writing for tv,if i were him I would be plotting the great American novel. The man has enough talent to create it, his only problem is that TV pays more.
I rate this book a 8 1/2 out of 10. It doesn't follow the TV series exactly but you can get a good idea of what goes on.The thing I liked best is that the books are always written from Natelie's perspective, it gives people good insight in to what the life a personal care assistant ( which is what she is) goes through. I shudder to think to what any of my assistants would say if they wrote a book about me.
So whether or not you are a monk tv fan you should read this book, it is funny and will keep you guessing. I hadnt figured out the mystery until the end of the book myself.
Book Review: The Big Over Easy (Book 62 of 100)
I love Nursery Crimes by Jasper Fforde. They make a bit more sense then The Thursday Next Series, which at times make no series at all. The story of suffering, but brilliant Detective Jack Spratt, who works with nursery rhyme characters. Jack Spratt, who we meet in The Well of Lost Plots (a Thursday novel) returns with a Humpty Dumpty themed adventure.
This is acute story, particularly if you're fond of nursery rhymes, which I (being a writer since childhood) love. This has all the goings on a regular mystery with typical nursery elements. In either case, as a mystery story or a nursery retelling, with adult themes like sex, politics, and intrigues, this story holds its own, as readers, along with Spratt, try to solve the mystery of who shattered Humpty Dumpty.
I rate this book a 7.75. Not the best, nut not awful. Worth the read.
This is acute story, particularly if you're fond of nursery rhymes, which I (being a writer since childhood) love. This has all the goings on a regular mystery with typical nursery elements. In either case, as a mystery story or a nursery retelling, with adult themes like sex, politics, and intrigues, this story holds its own, as readers, along with Spratt, try to solve the mystery of who shattered Humpty Dumpty.
I rate this book a 7.75. Not the best, nut not awful. Worth the read.
Book Review: Trans-Sister Radio (Book 60 of 100)
rans-Sister Radio by Chris Bohjalian is the best book I've ever read. I rate it a 9.95. I am surprised that the best written work I'd ever found was written by cis (comfortably bodily gendered), white, able-bodied man about transgender people, Normally, I hate dominant culture authors views of marginalized people, but Chris was different. He treated this story and his characters gently and with the love that I shower upon my own literary creations. One, upon reading it, would assume that he interacts with a lot of trans people to have created a person as real and vibrant and whole as Dana (the trans woman in the tale), her partner Alison, Will the dad with a big twist in the end; I won't tell you what though, and spunky, happy college girl Carly.
The story is the tale of XY born Dana Stevens, who undergoes sex reassignment surgery, and her partner and sixth grade teacher Alison Banks and her daughter high school senior to college sophomore (she ages throughout the book) Carly. There is also Will, the ex and dad, and Tricia, her dad's second wife. Alison loves male Dana and is straight so, therefore. less than thrilled when her man is about to become her woman. However, she gives it a go with Dana, the woman. Her town is less happy and the pair faces homophobia and Alison even has half of her students removed from her class as a result of her relationship.
I liked the way the book was set up. It was intertwined with the world of National Public Radio (NPR), an organization which I love. You get a good view of NPR in the story in addition to the interpersonal relationships.
The thing I liked best about this book is that it give me plenty of ideas for my own transgender/superhero storyline, featuring favorite characters Li (the trans man) and Frankie (his girlfriend, who is rather unhappy- to put it lightly- with his transition plan). TSR has given me lots of ideas about scenes between Li, Frankie, and their friends. Don't worry, though, Chris; I won't plagiarize just use your ideas as a jumping off point.
I am going to buy a print copy of this book, so I can underline and remember my scene ideas for my own novel. I also want to own a copy I can lend it out. This book feels very important and share worthy. I will probably buy it in July. I'm really looking forward to sharing it with friends and possibly suggesting to my book clubs. It was amazing, flatly amazing. If you write, read this book. It'll make you a better writer. If you read, read this book. It might change your life. It changed mine and I don't say that often.
The story is the tale of XY born Dana Stevens, who undergoes sex reassignment surgery, and her partner and sixth grade teacher Alison Banks and her daughter high school senior to college sophomore (she ages throughout the book) Carly. There is also Will, the ex and dad, and Tricia, her dad's second wife. Alison loves male Dana and is straight so, therefore. less than thrilled when her man is about to become her woman. However, she gives it a go with Dana, the woman. Her town is less happy and the pair faces homophobia and Alison even has half of her students removed from her class as a result of her relationship.
I liked the way the book was set up. It was intertwined with the world of National Public Radio (NPR), an organization which I love. You get a good view of NPR in the story in addition to the interpersonal relationships.
The thing I liked best about this book is that it give me plenty of ideas for my own transgender/superhero storyline, featuring favorite characters Li (the trans man) and Frankie (his girlfriend, who is rather unhappy- to put it lightly- with his transition plan). TSR has given me lots of ideas about scenes between Li, Frankie, and their friends. Don't worry, though, Chris; I won't plagiarize just use your ideas as a jumping off point.
I am going to buy a print copy of this book, so I can underline and remember my scene ideas for my own novel. I also want to own a copy I can lend it out. This book feels very important and share worthy. I will probably buy it in July. I'm really looking forward to sharing it with friends and possibly suggesting to my book clubs. It was amazing, flatly amazing. If you write, read this book. It'll make you a better writer. If you read, read this book. It might change your life. It changed mine and I don't say that often.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Returning
(a slightly racy story featuring Li, one of the favorite characters I've ever created who happens to be transgender)
I lay on our full sized adjustable bed (that was actually Frankie’s), looking at the clock, feeling pretty good about how I looked in my medium tinted repair wash jeans (which had cost $49.50 at American Eagle Outfitters, a hefty portion of my monthly allowance, but they were the most masculine pants I’d ever owned and that was the
important thing.
I was lonely. I was horny. I was counting the hours until my girl returned from her lesbian activist conference. I hadn’t gone. I had rehearsal. Besides which I wasn’t a lesbian, at least not anymore.
I’m a guy, a without a Y chromosome, but a guy nonetheless. That had caused me a bunch of problems. I had to change my ID. I have to take hormones to go through puberty again (the right one, this time). I need to talk to my parents (I’m still working on that one).Most horribly, I almost lost the love of my life.
Frankie and I have been an institution since we were 12. I always thought we’d be that way forever. Whatever else was going wrong in my life, and for someone like me it’s always something, I knew I could always court on Frankie being there, along with our four best friends. Growing up people called us the “six pack.”
We all went to UMass. We’re sophomores, nearly juniors, now. I came out to myself on October 11th, National Coming Out Day of freshman year. It’s very cliché. I know, but it’s also true. I came out to the rest of the six pack in April. I waited until everyone was busy with activities. I thought that would make it easier on everyone.
It did and it didn’t. Everyone was pretty okay with it. Everyone, but Frankie. She cried herself to sleep every night for a week. She kicked me out of our room. Not, she said, because she was angry, but because she needed “to consider us.” I slept on the couch for nearly 2 weeks and felt wretched.
Frankie is doing better now though. After the incident last semester, I told her she had to be or she wouldn’t be with me. I shuddered, whenever I thought of that it still physically hurt.
Someone knocked. I looked up, expecting Frankie and her mahogany waves. My smile faded as I realized that 1) It was only 4 and the conference had only ended an hour ago and even if they sped you can’t get from Boston to Amherst in an hour. 2) Frankie wasn’t the type to knock on her own door at 4 in the afternoon.
Jessi entered. “Wanna get a pizza?” my suitemate asked. “Marc’s running late and I need to eat.”
“I don’t feel like being the third wheel.”
“You won’t be. We'll order in. You won't miss her." Jessi said with a grin.
“Does everybody in the world think I have nothing better to do than wait on my girlfriend?”
“That’s not what I met. I just think it must be weird for you. Her being gone all weekend. I know weekends the two of you are usually more inseparable than usual.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just… jumpy. Spinach, mushroom, pepper, okay?” Jessi nodded. I dialed. We waited 30 minutes and just polished off the first slice when Marc walked in.
He kissed Jessi’s cheek as her mouth was full of veggie pizza. Then he turned to me. “It’s good to see you. I’m glad she had someone to order with. I thought she was going kill and eat me when I told her I was going to be late. Your lady here?” Frankie made Marc nervous. It made sense. If someone tried to kill me, I’d avoid them to. Frankie could create pain in any person she chose to- unbearable pain. I know, she accidentally did it to me last November. She was aiming at Marc and I interfered.
Poor Marc hadn’t done anything. Frankie was just afraid he’d hurt Jessi, because he was able-bodied and Jessi had Down Syndrome. Each of the six of us had some sort of disability and able-bodied people who were attracted to us frequently had less than honorable intentions.
“No,” I told him.
“Not that it would be a big deal if she was. Frankie’s a different person now. “ Jessi added. “All she wants is for me is for me to be happy, as long as your part of that, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“I know you all say she’s different and you’re probably right. But, no disrespect intended, the girl still creeps me out.” We ate the pizza in silence for a few moments. Then Jessi asked Marc about school. Academic matters dominated the conversation until the last slice was eaten. Jessi talked about her photography class. I talked about my African theater class, at Smith. Marc spent 15 minutes talking his computer science and graphic design classes.
Jessi beamed. Her former lay about of a boyfriend was excelling at Hampshire, despite enrolling in the spring semester and undergoing that horrible Frankie-induced injury in November. After the last of the pizza was devoured, Jessi and Marc went to a movie, as for once Jessi was basically deadline free for an evening. They asked me to tag along.
I declined. I figured it was a pity invitation and, also knowing that if I left for the movie I’d miss Frankie’s arrival, and, therefore, my chance to alleviate the most carnal of my needs as soon as possible.
I went to my room and glanced at the clock 5:55. I opened my notebook, figuring that I might as well do a little bit of next week’s reading. I had completed Monday’s homework yesterday and had completed by first off book rehearsal for the Laramie Project today. I was reading Helen Keller for my disability theater class at Mt. Holyoke. I didn’t like this play very much, but I had to pick a monologue to do, extra credit if you could do it off book. The problem was that there weren’t a lot of male parts. Only Helen’s brother, Annie’s brother, Dr. Aganois, and the boy slave.
I chose Percy the boy slave, because the role is unique. I work on my Southern, Negro accent. crouching in the corner. Away from the door. I am so focused on my role that I don’t hear Frankie until she says, “Well done!” at the end of the monologue.
I turn, beaming. “Miss me?” she asked as I bounded over to her and kissed her, stroking her chestnut hair.
“Not terribly, I masturbated frequently.” She was surprised and I realized she
didn’t know I was kidding.
“It was a joke, love.” Frankie knew I didn’t like to touch myself. It was just a reminder of everything that was wrong with down there. The only way I can interact with my genitalia is if she does it, although in desperate times, such as when had a three week fight last Halloween, I’ve been known to do the whole shower messager over jeans thing. Frankie has spinal muscular atrophy and doesn’t move very much. She can drive her wheelchair and move her fingers enough to hold my hand. She uses Naturally Speaking to type, IM, and talk to Jo- our Deaf housemate, who types back.
Some people, not our housemates, think Frankie and I don’t, or more the point, can’t, have sex. They’re wrong. I det it more often than most people, at least 10 times a week on average, as long as we are on speaking terms, which we usually are, although we fight like every other college age couple I know. I spend about 3 days a month sleeping on our suite couch or crashing at friends places, when we’ve not getting along. This is usually at her insistence. She irritates me regularly, but rarely enough so that I want to forgo my bed or my bedmate.
Besides which, as I tell myself every time I opt to curl up with her in our soft Craftmatic even though she’s done or said something offensive (which happens way more often than I should let her get away with), the couch is horribly scratchy and bad for my Epidermolysis Bullosa. The blistering skin condition I was born with.
Most people who had the disease are perpetually wrapped in bandages. Most people don’t know I had it. They would if I couldn’t heal myself in the same way Frankie can hurt people. Those who know about our gifts call me a “fixer” and Frankie an “inflictor”. The yin and yang thing suits us, although I wish she didn’t take as much joy in applying her ability as she sometimes does.
Frankie smiled. “We’ll see if we can do something more acceptable about that.”
“Good, I guess I missed you a little bit after all.” Frankie scowled. I stroked her hair. She smiled. “I love you.”
“So you say six times a day on average.”
“You count?” I tease. “Do you want me to put you in bed?”
“Not just yet,” Frankie laughed. “Patience, patience! I want you to stand next to it though.”
“What? Why?” I said.
“It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it,” she told me. I knew that tone.
Whenever she used it, I ended up liking what happened, so I obeyed. She smiled, suddenly shy, and maneuvered her chair right in front of me. I begin to wonder what I was getting into, but I decided that if she wanted to play I’d play. “Lock the door. I don’t feel like being an exhibitionist!”
“Since when?”
“Since ever. You’re the theatrical one!”
“You wish is my command,” I bowed, turned and locked the door.
“Don’t I wish! We both know you’re not a much of a submissive as you like to pretend.”
“Just like you’re not as much of a butch.”
She smiled. “We’ll see if you still think that after this.”
I raise my eyebrows involuntarily. Frankie turned and faced me. I am acutely aware of our difference in stature. Out of habit, I squat, so I could look her in the eye.
“Sweet sentiment, but we can’t play if you do that.”
I straightened myself to full height again. I may wish I had male genitals, but for the moment my female bits were pretty happy. I smiled and she smiled back. How many times had we been in similar situations? I’m standing there waiting for something to happen when Frankie leans forward and catches my bonze zipper in her teeth. “What the-“
She doesn’t respond because she too busy causing my fly to descend. I’m wearing boxers, because that makes it easier hide my absence than it would be in briefs. Frankie knows, of course, that there’s nothing there so she pushes the fabric up, into my nether reasons. I feel her tongue through the material. “Oh, sweet Jesus!” I’m aware that this sounds ultra girly, but I don’t care.
With good deal of reluctance, I remove myself from Frankie’s decidedly able
tongue. I feel her stiffen. “What’s wrong?” she asked, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of her voice. I squat, kiss her fully, and pull off my boxers with one head, while I stroke her hair with my other hand.
“There’s nothing wrong, honey. I was just trying to make things work a little better. Trust me, I’m not complaining.” I’m aware that I’m waist down naked and moist and my girlfriend is about to cry.
“I thought you didn’t like it.”
“You thought I wouldn’t like it be seduced by the person I love best in the world, who has, by the way, been gone since Friday? Do you know me at all?” I taunt her slightly and she grins. I breath, crisis averted.
Suddenly Frankie kisses me and all the drama is forgotten. She held my tongue in
her mouth for a moment. Then lowers her head to kiss my neck. Without words, I rise against her enjoying the feel of her month against my flesh. I get wetter and wetter, lubricant sliding down my legs. I bend myself slightly backwards, while thrusting my hips forward.
She places her face between my legs and licks, but rearranges herself just before I come. She runs her tongue up and down my thighs. One then the other, careful never to brush my midpoint. I wait, swallowing my objection.
She’s in charge here and knows I know it. Frankie may be fragile, but she’s very good at certain things. If I complain, she’ll just make me wait longer and I’ve been waiting since 7:30 Friday morning. What seems to my aching anatomy like hours later, she gives in. I hold verticality, moaning in a very non-passable pitch.
Would there ever any moment with her in the future that my gender disforia wouldn’t damage? I redirect my thoughts. I’m quite sure than anybody walking by our door knows exactly what’s happening at that moment. I suddenly decide that I care what they know.
I come three times and think that one thing I’ll miss when, and if, I ever acquire male genitalia is multiple orgasms. Still, I regularly imagine myself pushing a manmade penis into Frankie (even one that required a pump as they all do now) Mind you, I’m not sure if she would even ever allow that. That’s a big if. I know there’s no one else who’d even have a prayer of ever convincing her that male penetration is a good idea. The only reason I have the half chance I do is that she adores me “beyond all sensibility”. At least she adores the woman me.
Whenever I think of Frankie deciding to be with someone other than me merely because I wanted to make my soul more harmonious with my genitals, I want to vomit. About a million times a day, I wish I could just go back to being a normal girl, a normal actress, a normal daughter, a normal girlfriend.
But, even as I wish for that in the mist of this, I know the wish is incompatible with personal survival.
I lay on our full sized adjustable bed (that was actually Frankie’s), looking at the clock, feeling pretty good about how I looked in my medium tinted repair wash jeans (which had cost $49.50 at American Eagle Outfitters, a hefty portion of my monthly allowance, but they were the most masculine pants I’d ever owned and that was the
important thing.
I was lonely. I was horny. I was counting the hours until my girl returned from her lesbian activist conference. I hadn’t gone. I had rehearsal. Besides which I wasn’t a lesbian, at least not anymore.
I’m a guy, a without a Y chromosome, but a guy nonetheless. That had caused me a bunch of problems. I had to change my ID. I have to take hormones to go through puberty again (the right one, this time). I need to talk to my parents (I’m still working on that one).Most horribly, I almost lost the love of my life.
Frankie and I have been an institution since we were 12. I always thought we’d be that way forever. Whatever else was going wrong in my life, and for someone like me it’s always something, I knew I could always court on Frankie being there, along with our four best friends. Growing up people called us the “six pack.”
We all went to UMass. We’re sophomores, nearly juniors, now. I came out to myself on October 11th, National Coming Out Day of freshman year. It’s very cliché. I know, but it’s also true. I came out to the rest of the six pack in April. I waited until everyone was busy with activities. I thought that would make it easier on everyone.
It did and it didn’t. Everyone was pretty okay with it. Everyone, but Frankie. She cried herself to sleep every night for a week. She kicked me out of our room. Not, she said, because she was angry, but because she needed “to consider us.” I slept on the couch for nearly 2 weeks and felt wretched.
Frankie is doing better now though. After the incident last semester, I told her she had to be or she wouldn’t be with me. I shuddered, whenever I thought of that it still physically hurt.
Someone knocked. I looked up, expecting Frankie and her mahogany waves. My smile faded as I realized that 1) It was only 4 and the conference had only ended an hour ago and even if they sped you can’t get from Boston to Amherst in an hour. 2) Frankie wasn’t the type to knock on her own door at 4 in the afternoon.
Jessi entered. “Wanna get a pizza?” my suitemate asked. “Marc’s running late and I need to eat.”
“I don’t feel like being the third wheel.”
“You won’t be. We'll order in. You won't miss her." Jessi said with a grin.
“Does everybody in the world think I have nothing better to do than wait on my girlfriend?”
“That’s not what I met. I just think it must be weird for you. Her being gone all weekend. I know weekends the two of you are usually more inseparable than usual.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just… jumpy. Spinach, mushroom, pepper, okay?” Jessi nodded. I dialed. We waited 30 minutes and just polished off the first slice when Marc walked in.
He kissed Jessi’s cheek as her mouth was full of veggie pizza. Then he turned to me. “It’s good to see you. I’m glad she had someone to order with. I thought she was going kill and eat me when I told her I was going to be late. Your lady here?” Frankie made Marc nervous. It made sense. If someone tried to kill me, I’d avoid them to. Frankie could create pain in any person she chose to- unbearable pain. I know, she accidentally did it to me last November. She was aiming at Marc and I interfered.
Poor Marc hadn’t done anything. Frankie was just afraid he’d hurt Jessi, because he was able-bodied and Jessi had Down Syndrome. Each of the six of us had some sort of disability and able-bodied people who were attracted to us frequently had less than honorable intentions.
“No,” I told him.
“Not that it would be a big deal if she was. Frankie’s a different person now. “ Jessi added. “All she wants is for me is for me to be happy, as long as your part of that, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“I know you all say she’s different and you’re probably right. But, no disrespect intended, the girl still creeps me out.” We ate the pizza in silence for a few moments. Then Jessi asked Marc about school. Academic matters dominated the conversation until the last slice was eaten. Jessi talked about her photography class. I talked about my African theater class, at Smith. Marc spent 15 minutes talking his computer science and graphic design classes.
Jessi beamed. Her former lay about of a boyfriend was excelling at Hampshire, despite enrolling in the spring semester and undergoing that horrible Frankie-induced injury in November. After the last of the pizza was devoured, Jessi and Marc went to a movie, as for once Jessi was basically deadline free for an evening. They asked me to tag along.
I declined. I figured it was a pity invitation and, also knowing that if I left for the movie I’d miss Frankie’s arrival, and, therefore, my chance to alleviate the most carnal of my needs as soon as possible.
I went to my room and glanced at the clock 5:55. I opened my notebook, figuring that I might as well do a little bit of next week’s reading. I had completed Monday’s homework yesterday and had completed by first off book rehearsal for the Laramie Project today. I was reading Helen Keller for my disability theater class at Mt. Holyoke. I didn’t like this play very much, but I had to pick a monologue to do, extra credit if you could do it off book. The problem was that there weren’t a lot of male parts. Only Helen’s brother, Annie’s brother, Dr. Aganois, and the boy slave.
I chose Percy the boy slave, because the role is unique. I work on my Southern, Negro accent. crouching in the corner. Away from the door. I am so focused on my role that I don’t hear Frankie until she says, “Well done!” at the end of the monologue.
I turn, beaming. “Miss me?” she asked as I bounded over to her and kissed her, stroking her chestnut hair.
“Not terribly, I masturbated frequently.” She was surprised and I realized she
didn’t know I was kidding.
“It was a joke, love.” Frankie knew I didn’t like to touch myself. It was just a reminder of everything that was wrong with down there. The only way I can interact with my genitalia is if she does it, although in desperate times, such as when had a three week fight last Halloween, I’ve been known to do the whole shower messager over jeans thing. Frankie has spinal muscular atrophy and doesn’t move very much. She can drive her wheelchair and move her fingers enough to hold my hand. She uses Naturally Speaking to type, IM, and talk to Jo- our Deaf housemate, who types back.
Some people, not our housemates, think Frankie and I don’t, or more the point, can’t, have sex. They’re wrong. I det it more often than most people, at least 10 times a week on average, as long as we are on speaking terms, which we usually are, although we fight like every other college age couple I know. I spend about 3 days a month sleeping on our suite couch or crashing at friends places, when we’ve not getting along. This is usually at her insistence. She irritates me regularly, but rarely enough so that I want to forgo my bed or my bedmate.
Besides which, as I tell myself every time I opt to curl up with her in our soft Craftmatic even though she’s done or said something offensive (which happens way more often than I should let her get away with), the couch is horribly scratchy and bad for my Epidermolysis Bullosa. The blistering skin condition I was born with.
Most people who had the disease are perpetually wrapped in bandages. Most people don’t know I had it. They would if I couldn’t heal myself in the same way Frankie can hurt people. Those who know about our gifts call me a “fixer” and Frankie an “inflictor”. The yin and yang thing suits us, although I wish she didn’t take as much joy in applying her ability as she sometimes does.
Frankie smiled. “We’ll see if we can do something more acceptable about that.”
“Good, I guess I missed you a little bit after all.” Frankie scowled. I stroked her hair. She smiled. “I love you.”
“So you say six times a day on average.”
“You count?” I tease. “Do you want me to put you in bed?”
“Not just yet,” Frankie laughed. “Patience, patience! I want you to stand next to it though.”
“What? Why?” I said.
“It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it,” she told me. I knew that tone.
Whenever she used it, I ended up liking what happened, so I obeyed. She smiled, suddenly shy, and maneuvered her chair right in front of me. I begin to wonder what I was getting into, but I decided that if she wanted to play I’d play. “Lock the door. I don’t feel like being an exhibitionist!”
“Since when?”
“Since ever. You’re the theatrical one!”
“You wish is my command,” I bowed, turned and locked the door.
“Don’t I wish! We both know you’re not a much of a submissive as you like to pretend.”
“Just like you’re not as much of a butch.”
She smiled. “We’ll see if you still think that after this.”
I raise my eyebrows involuntarily. Frankie turned and faced me. I am acutely aware of our difference in stature. Out of habit, I squat, so I could look her in the eye.
“Sweet sentiment, but we can’t play if you do that.”
I straightened myself to full height again. I may wish I had male genitals, but for the moment my female bits were pretty happy. I smiled and she smiled back. How many times had we been in similar situations? I’m standing there waiting for something to happen when Frankie leans forward and catches my bonze zipper in her teeth. “What the-“
She doesn’t respond because she too busy causing my fly to descend. I’m wearing boxers, because that makes it easier hide my absence than it would be in briefs. Frankie knows, of course, that there’s nothing there so she pushes the fabric up, into my nether reasons. I feel her tongue through the material. “Oh, sweet Jesus!” I’m aware that this sounds ultra girly, but I don’t care.
With good deal of reluctance, I remove myself from Frankie’s decidedly able
tongue. I feel her stiffen. “What’s wrong?” she asked, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of her voice. I squat, kiss her fully, and pull off my boxers with one head, while I stroke her hair with my other hand.
“There’s nothing wrong, honey. I was just trying to make things work a little better. Trust me, I’m not complaining.” I’m aware that I’m waist down naked and moist and my girlfriend is about to cry.
“I thought you didn’t like it.”
“You thought I wouldn’t like it be seduced by the person I love best in the world, who has, by the way, been gone since Friday? Do you know me at all?” I taunt her slightly and she grins. I breath, crisis averted.
Suddenly Frankie kisses me and all the drama is forgotten. She held my tongue in
her mouth for a moment. Then lowers her head to kiss my neck. Without words, I rise against her enjoying the feel of her month against my flesh. I get wetter and wetter, lubricant sliding down my legs. I bend myself slightly backwards, while thrusting my hips forward.
She places her face between my legs and licks, but rearranges herself just before I come. She runs her tongue up and down my thighs. One then the other, careful never to brush my midpoint. I wait, swallowing my objection.
She’s in charge here and knows I know it. Frankie may be fragile, but she’s very good at certain things. If I complain, she’ll just make me wait longer and I’ve been waiting since 7:30 Friday morning. What seems to my aching anatomy like hours later, she gives in. I hold verticality, moaning in a very non-passable pitch.
Would there ever any moment with her in the future that my gender disforia wouldn’t damage? I redirect my thoughts. I’m quite sure than anybody walking by our door knows exactly what’s happening at that moment. I suddenly decide that I care what they know.
I come three times and think that one thing I’ll miss when, and if, I ever acquire male genitalia is multiple orgasms. Still, I regularly imagine myself pushing a manmade penis into Frankie (even one that required a pump as they all do now) Mind you, I’m not sure if she would even ever allow that. That’s a big if. I know there’s no one else who’d even have a prayer of ever convincing her that male penetration is a good idea. The only reason I have the half chance I do is that she adores me “beyond all sensibility”. At least she adores the woman me.
Whenever I think of Frankie deciding to be with someone other than me merely because I wanted to make my soul more harmonious with my genitals, I want to vomit. About a million times a day, I wish I could just go back to being a normal girl, a normal actress, a normal daughter, a normal girlfriend.
But, even as I wish for that in the mist of this, I know the wish is incompatible with personal survival.
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