Kick start your Creativity- Day 2

First off, I want to let people know that this overall topic of creative blocks and the reason for them is hard for me to discuss because some people won't be happy with what I say, especially as I am choosing to put this on one of my blogs. However, I am trying to walk in truth here and that always makes certain people uncomfortable.

The List:
1. Other people's opinions are #1

I worry too much about how others will react to what I write. If they will be offended or whatever. I use people and situations from life, but often people portrayed don't view their behavior as fictionalized or several events rolled into one.

I also worry that when I write about legitimate concerns in a social justice movement that I'm part of (for example, lack of accessibility at a progressive event) the "other camp" will use that as a reason to undermine the broader movement that I agree with. I don't want that to happen so I may not raise those concerns. I need to remember that the most harm comes not from raising issues, but from not raising them.

2. My perfectionism.

Many is the time when I would have something already to go and then decide it just wasn't perfect enough. If I really respect the person or publication I'm sending it to, so much the worse. Being part of this project and having made a commitment to get something up every day, however rough a state it's in, is a big step for me. Also I am looking into joining an online group so I can get support from other people who are dealing with the same thing. It would be ideal if the other members were also artists, as we have a particular set of issues that I feel are unique. However, as I have made a serious commitment to confronting and conquering this in 2016, any "perfectionist anonymous" will do.

3. People who assume they know more about what I need than I do

Before I go into this, I want to clarify that my relatives are quite good people, but as happens frequently they just don't understand how my life works on a daily basis. For example, I was running a Gofundme and not a one of them gave so much as a cent or even shared my post. I know what it's like to be poor, but you can at least share.Isn't that why we are members of social networks in the first place? I'm more than slightly bitter about this.

Also they expect me to have the life and opinions that they do. Not going to happen. We live in very different worlds. This is not to say they don't empathize with me. They do, but empathy is not the same as lived experience. I keep trying to explain this. I hope the last attempt worked. Frequently, I find it easier to talk things out/get support from other people with disabilities or even strangers became they are more likely to get it and I also won't be as emotionally invested if they don't.

Furthermore, like every other person, I may not know about a piece of assistive technology that will greatly improve my life, function, or output. Yes, I know more but keeping up with every single new app or program is unrealistic. And sometimes it may be unfortunate that I got a piece of kit that informed me of a major upgrade after I bought something else. I know this is annoying and money doesn't just appear because I want a new shiny thing.

However, I wonder if the people who are lecturing me about that actually realize how frustrating it is for me to discover that there was something which could have eliminated or mitigated a major problem in my life, which might have made work as an anything more doable for me or how much I struggle because I know I'm capable of doing higher level tasks, but always need to balance my creative desires with the practical side of what it will cost me in terms of function to do something, I realize that they don't know this and half the time It's my fault because I decide not to mention whatever is happening and risk being hurt again when they don't get it.

Also, anyone who actually bothers to know me would realize that I am not one of those women who needs to have the latest whatever. I have pants from the ninth grade that I still wear. Also, I put quite a bit of stock into being an earth guardian. One does not run for office under the Green-Rainbow Party or spend years in love with a tree hugging environmentalist without acquiring somewhat of a commitment to our planet and, by extension, the concept of reuse.

4. Society

On the whole, we are taught not to value artists or pay them well, especially before they have prove our economic worth. Like that matters! And we wonder why the world is in such a state. Old Navy even briefly ran a campaign telling young people that an artist wasn't a good thing to aspire to be!

Of course, I know that I won't be able to change society's opinion on my own. My new goal is just going to be not to let what other people think I should be doing effect me so much!